sometimes i think gravity is a pity

When I look back at the event I pulled off last weekend, it's really hard to believe. When I was reaching out to various agencies in November, I was intending to plan for 2024. I certainly didn't expect one agency to respond that the author they represent was already going to be in our state in February, and she was open to tacking an extra day onto her visit to speak at our public garden!!

Our institution really isn't set up for hosting big speakers, so I practically built the process from scratch in less than four months. From convincing the CEO/President, to communicating with agents, to coordinating a room reservation, to working with Marketing on publicity, to finding a sponsor, to testing the AV, to planning a pre-talk luncheon for community leaders, to coordinating scholarship tickets, to working with Retail to get copies of the book, to writing an professional introduction, to coordinating transportation, to assisting the author when she arrived, to making a recording for staff, to invoicing, etc. etc. etc... I don't want to say I did it all, because no one at a non-profit works in a vacuum. (But I kind of did it all.)

In the end, we had 130 people in the room to hear Carolyn Finney, author of Black Faces, White Spaces: Reimagining the Relationship of African Americans to the Great Outdoors. And many of them were first-time attendees of a class/program at our institution!

I'm really proud of myself! I'm also really tired. It's been three days, and I still feel like I haven't fully recovered. On the one hand, it makes perfect sense. You don't run (at times literally) on a single granola bar for an entire day and then feel great the morning after... But I wish I felt energized by the atmosphere and inspired to do more. Sadly, I really wasn't able to absorb any of the intellectual joys of hosting an author I admire because I was too busy running to grab extra chairs and all that. I didn't even get to say hello to my parents, who had driven 3 hours to support my efforts.

Okay, okay, okay... but what matters is the community, and I've only heard good things! We sold over 70 copies of her book, which is amazing and really important (should be required) reading! My old director (the one who laid me off during the pandemic lol) was there, and she got to see me thriving and pulling off miracles. And my new director and all of Leadership Team (our equivalent of C-level management) was mega impressed. So I'd love it if my brain would let me be happy about it! Or relax for a minute! Because it's over! And I did it!

(It is truly too much to ask.)

I realized the other day that part of the reason I've been so antsy and tired is that my Mohs surgery is tomorrow. I hadn't forgotten, but I hadn't had time to dwell on it until the Carolyn Finney event was over. It's not an intensive surgery in the sense that I'll be incapacitated, but I'm still anxious. I think I've done the best I can do. I bought some groceries and care supplies, changed my sheets and washed my purple plush blanket, and spent some time at the ice rink as a treat... I even asked friends to send me letters to give me something to look forward to, and my friend H sent the best thing!!

It's not often someone speaks my love language so directly back at me. I really try not to let myself think of Jiang Cheng as cute or delightful, but these stickers (perhaps because they were so thoughtful and came when I needed them) really pulled at my heartstrings. I mean, look at how little he is!! I'm besotted! I have them next to my bed, and I might even bring them with me in my fanny pack tomorrow to look at while I'm waiting, ahahaha.

Anyway, fingers crossed and here's hoping the surgery goes quickly, and I don't have to go in for too many rounds before they find clear margins. I'm not sure I have it in me for a 4-6 hour experience...